What Is Domestic Violence Abuse?
The word domestic violence floats around a lot and covers a huge amount of territory. We never seem to specifically identify the type of violence, just that it exists.
I do get asked periodically, my partner never hits me, but they know how to make me feel really bad and do sometimes, is that abuse?
And because this is such an important question, an important thing to try to define, I have turned to the US Department of Justice (US DOJ) for answers on what the courts consider ‘abuse’.
The US DOJ defines domestic violence as: “A pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.”
So it comes down to a pattern of abusive behavior. What exactly is considered abusive behavior?
According to my research and experience, there are 5 major types of abuses, with so many falling under these top headliners… Sadly, at this point, I can honestly say one is not worse than the other. They are all heinous, horrible and major red flags begging you to leave. If you have experienced or are experiencing any of these things, please reach out asap, there is so much help out there for you.
— Malibu Mama Loves® (@MalibuMamaLoves) December 5, 2019
Here are the 5 major types of abuses: including but not limited to –
- Physical Abuse: Any type of unwanted physical rough contact – hitting, slapping, pushing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, choking. It also includes denying a partner medical care or forcing unwanted medicines/drugs/alcohol upon them.
- Emotional Abuse: Constant criticism, diminishing one’s abilities, name-calling, damaging one’s relationship with others, undermining an individual’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It is rough and hard and hurts every bit as much as being hit.
- Sexual Abuse: Marital rape (you do not have to have sex just because you are married), attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence, being demeaned sexually, coerced into sexual acts you do not want to do, being forced to have sex with others. You always have the right to say no, an abuser will make you think you can not.
- Economic Abuse: When a partner makes you financially dependent on them by maintaining total control over financial resources and ones access to money. Or when a partner forbids one to go to school or to work.
- Psychological Abuse: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, friends or family, destruction of property, hurting pets, forcing one into isolation. Creating paranoia, humiliation, withholding information and mail. It is scary and can come in so many forms, these are just a few.
If you are dealing with any of this right now, please reach out. Contact me. Call the domestic violence hotline, don’t be afraid. You are not alone. More than 10 million people in the US are in your shoes.
Together, we can break the silence and end the cycle, forever.
Malibu Mama Loves Xx