10 Tips For Coparenting Without Power Struggles

Posted on Jun 14, 2021 | 0 comments

Any way you look at it, coparenting is tough. There are unresolved feelings from the marriage, there are egos, there is society’s influence creeping in… a lot is involved and often can be a recipe for disaster.

Unfortunately, coparenting is not an option and we must find a way to do it for the benefit of our children. Our children learn from us and develop their self esteem for us. And if we are too busy beating up the other parent to notice, our children suffer dearly for it.

As we have been talking aboutcoparenting with difficult people, I want to share some tips I have learned along my long road of coparenting to help you in your efforts for coparenting without power struggles.

Some common things I have noticed myself and others having to struggle with during coparenting are:

Trash talking
Lack of consistency
Fighting
Resentment
Disrespecting boundaries
Jealousy
Time mismanagement
Conditional support
Differences in parenting values
Brainwashing of children

If any of this sounds familiar, these tips are for you!

10 Tips For Coparenting Without Power Struggles

You can not change your ex. I’ve said it before, it is true. They are who they are. Learn to accept them, try to understand them and then use that information to help honor what is best for your children.
Focus on your children’s needs, not your own. This is about the children. Keep it factual and focused on them, not past personal issues.
Keep the marriage out of parenting. Set your boundaries and learn to stick to the facts. The marriage is over, there is no going back. So focus instead on what you can accomplish for your children.
Never speak negatively of the other parent. Even when they are. It is soooo hard. But trust me, in the end the truth comes out. Be that safe haven your kids desperately need and someday they will thank you for you.
Do not even fight in front of the kids. PERDIOD.
Document everything. Keep your ducks lined up, record everything you can in the event you need to go back to court, you can easily find your evidence.
Pick your battles wisely. Coparenting is about compromise so choose your battles wisely. Sometimes you will have to give in, know when it is time to do that versus time to stand your ground.
Pick your support system carefully. You need backup, make sure you have it with good quality people you trust.
Create fair boundaries. You can use the custody agreement to do this. But clearly define what is acceptable and what is not to avoid future issues.
Be the example. Treat them as you wish they would treat you. Kill them with kindness while standing your ground respectfully. Do not sink to their level.

Coparenting can be frustrating. But with a little mindset shift, you can find your way to being very successful coparents.

Malibu Mama Loves Xx