Are Your Kids Swearing?

Posted on Jul 9, 2014 | 1 comment

Swearing is part of our society today.

No wonder we have kids swearing. It is everywhere: video games, books, tv shows, movies, even adds now.

I will confess, the occasional swear slips out of my (and my hubby’s) mouth too and I know the kiddos have heard. It is just language, right? Strong language?

But why is swearing really bad?

It’s not the saying of the actual word that is bad. They are just strong words after all.

It is the lack of respect that you show to yourself that is the problem. Swearing shows you have no creativity and civility, and it also blunts the senses to other forms of verbal violence.

However…

Swearing is an easy release of some very frustrated emotions. Studies are showing that it can aid in pain endurance, and it can also help relieve your stress.

“Learning to swear is part of the process that establishes identity,” explains Dr. Richard Stephens (the research leader from a study at Keele University). “It fulfills many functions – besides coping with pain, it’s a way of demonstrating your coolness or being anti-authoritarian. Kids are intrigued by the adult world and keeping swearing a secret makes it irresistible. In fact kids are swearing more often and at an earlier age.“

So what do you do about kids swearing?

When the occasional bomb gets dropped in the presence of my children I stop and talk to them about it.

For example, last week I had spread out this nice picnic in the backyard for the kids and I. Just as I sat down, I looked behind me and saw a 4 foot long California king snake slithering about 2 feet away. I DO NOT LIKE SNAKES. I think they heard me on the east coast screaming “Get the F@$& in the house” repeatedly as I mistook it for a giant child-eating anaconda!!! The snake, BTW, was totally calm and merrily made its way along back to the OTHER side of the fence. I hope he does not come back!

Once I had calmed down, of course my children (who recognized the snake for what it was and watched it with awe while I panicked in the kitchen) had to point fingers and laugh “Mummy said a bad word”!

Of course, they had to repeat it, numerous times. Clearly, I needed to say something to them about it!

Here are my 4 guidelines to talk to kids about swearing:

Be Honest. Kids understand way more than we give them credit for if we calmly and honestly take the time to explain the situation to them.
Talk about a time and a place for swearing. Set boundaries together.
Talk about different ways to express themselves (and yourself) in difficult situations. Encourage them to be more creative in their style of communication. Don’t be afraid to use specific examples and show them there is a time and place for swearing, and a time and place for NOT swearing.
It’s ok to make mistakes. Reassure them that everyone has slip ups and that it is ok. As long as the ‘slip up’ does not become a habit…!

Swearing is part of life. So how should we handle kids swearing?

Talk to your kids about swearing!

I choose to talk about swearing with my kids. Not to beat myself up when I have used one and they have heard. To teach them how to respect themselves and others. I want them to be open with me so I try to be open and honest with them. And it seems to be working!!! By my children pointing and making fun of my panicked ‘Get the F@$& into the house’ statement, it shows me they are aware that there are some words that are disrespectful. They are listening to me! To date we have had no public swearing, and very little of it at home, which shows me that they are choosing to handle difficult situations well.

By teaching our children how to be respectful people (both of themselves and others) today, we are paving the way for their success tomorrow.

How do you deal with your kids swearing?

Malibu Mama Loves Xx