Understanding The 4 Types Of Difficult People

Posted on Feb 15, 2021 | 0 comments

We all know at least one – at work, at home, at school, in our community… difficult people are everywhere! They come in all different shapes and colors and are designed to look just like non-difficult people!!! On some days it can seem like we are surrounded by them!! Difficult people are irritating, frustrating and down-right exhausting.

But they are part of life. And they must face their own demons.

As a conscious life coach, I get asked regularly how to deal with difficult people. You may not like my answer, my answer may not seem fair to you, but if you really want to learn how to deal with difficult people, you must first try to understand them.

You can bet the only thing they will try to understand about you is how to wind you up. So instead of giving into them, try understanding them and then creating healthy tactics to help you handle these conversations and negotiations positively when they arise.

Today, I want to share with you the 4 main types of difficult people to help you start to identify the who in your life and the how/why they are doing it. Thursday I will be sharing different tactics to create a space removing their ability to be difficult and really get your goat – so make sure to check back later this week! For now, let’s get started identifying the 4 types of difficult people out there.

4 Types Of Difficult People

Downers – people who are always complaining, they always have a reason why something won’t work, they love to say “yes, but…”, they give mean criticisms and insults regularly – often in the form of sarcasm. They rarely have anything positive to say and even when you bring up a positive statement or something good in the world, they have an incredible way of turning it upside down and sucking the life out of it. They judge everything and are darn near impossible to please.
1. What You Need To Know: somewhere along the line this person experienced a trauma causing them to see life negatively. It is important that you take what they say with a grain of salt, not personally, and understand this is their viewpoint on life right now, it does not have to be yours.
Superiors – the ones who think they are better than everyone else, the know-it-alls (every group has one), the ones that listen to your story and in the middle start talking about how they went through that or did it bigger or better. Then they tell you exactly what you should do to fix your lives. Then, to make it even better, they later say ‘you didn’t do what they told you to, so of course it got messed up’… They never do anything wrong and always try to present as perfect.
1. What You Need To Know: these people are trapped in their own hell, not being able to deal with the bumps of life, pretending everything always works out perfectly for them. It can be exhausting, don’t you think? For this person, you will need the tools I talk about on Thursday, there is a better way to communicate to this person to protect your feelings too.
Passives – the lazy ones who are quiet, let others do all the work, they don’t contribute to conversations, yet are happy to take whatever they can get. They always have a reason why they can’t help if asked, otherwise they just quietly fall off into the background, hoping to not have to do really anything.
1. What You Need To Know: sometimes these people may need special encouragement or exact direction. Don’t give up on them, learn how to communicate with them.
Demanders – the liars, the ones that will stop at nothing to get what they want, not caring at all who or what gets hurt in their wake. They are paranoid and hostile, attempting to control situations through intimidation. They bring chaos and pain everywhere they go and they simply don’t care – as long as they are getting what they want.
1. What You Need To Know: these people are the narcissistic and sociopathic members of our society. They take special understanding and require incredibly strong tools in your conscious living toolbox for you to keep them in your life.