20 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Divorce

Posted on Jun 1, 2020 | 0 comments

Not that it would have changed my mind, but it may have prepared me a little bit for what lay after the divorce…

I mean let’s be realistic. I was the third wife to my first (and only) x-husband – who is already onto his 4^th wife! He had a pattern that I was blind to, like many young women in love.

After 12 years together, we are now four years into our divorce. Here is what I wish someone had told me about divorce – just to prepare me!

20 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Divorce

You will see your spouse in a new, realistic light that probably will shock you.
Your spouses’ true colors will come out during this process and it is very hurtful being their target.
It is not like when they were away on a business trip and you got the bed to yourself. You get lonely fast.
They are not going to be there for you. Ever again. It is done and there is no turning back.
You will feel like a failure, regularly, instead of realizing the relationship has run it’s course and it is time to move on.
You will be constantly confused, wondering if you have done the right thing.
Everything is waaaaaaaay more expensive. It can feel like you are being punished for being divorced. Relearning household finances as a single parent family and making ends meet is challenging.
You will lose some friends.
People will judge you, frown upon you for being divorced.
There will be awkward in-law situations with both your family and theirs.
There will no longer be anyone to watch the kids for a few minutes so you can run an errand or if you need some help with a parenting decision.
No one will be there to help you when you fall ill. You are on your own.
You will miss their cooking, even if they were bad at it. Simply because there is no one else there to help so it isn’t all on you all the time.
You will miss your wedding ring and the feeling of belonging to a family unit. It hurts.
It is not easy. Not even if you are the one who wanted the divorce. It is not easy.
Taxes, bills, emergencies all become so much more expensive and daunting as you face them on your own.
The ‘What ifs’ will play over and over in your mind driving you crazy until you learn to control it.
You will lose most of your possessions. Mine took everything. Coming back wiht young children to an empty home and them gone is one of the worst feelings ever.
Wait to date. Moving on is hard and confusing and you will get caught up with and attract the wrong people if you go out too soon. Focus on you for a while!
Co-parenting with a disagreeable x is brutal… definitely more on this to come…!!!