Do You Have Unhealed Trauma?

Posted on Jul 5, 2021 | 0 comments

The truth about trauma is that it is a tricky thing. Trauma is unique unto each person as it causes us to change our perception of our realities. Our reactions and belief’s that are created from the trauma are different for each and every one of us.

One of the most difficult aspects of trauma is accepting awareness of what happened TO us. Many people experience trauma and go on autopilot for years. They experience frustration, anxiety, depression but think that it is normal, all part of the life experience and just coast through it, unhappy and just accepting it hiding behind denial and dissociation. Sound familiar?

I know because I was there, for 41 ½ years. I dissociated all of the bad, harmful, traumatic things and focused on what I thought I was supposed to be doing in life – even though it felt just not right.

But once I took all that was happening in my subconscious and brought it to my conscious, I was able to rewrite, rewire and relearn how to be the true me with some serious inner child healing.

Curious if you may have some unhealed trauma? First, learn as much about trauma as you can. Read this post on trauma here and this on 10 things you never knew about trauma and research trauma.

Now, does any of the following signs sound familiar to you?

15 Signs of Unhealed Trauma

1. Low to no self-esteem and self-confidence. Almost all roads of trauma lead to one feeling worthless; like they can not make decisions well; like they don’t belong; like something is wrong with them.
2. Addictive behaviors. Turning to something giving you good highs to avoid having to feel and face the experience(s) of your trauma – sex, drugs, gambling, social media, porn, playing online games and other pastimes that give you something else to focus on.
3. Inability to tolerate conflict. Having a fear of conflict so much so that you let people walk all over you, running and avoiding conflict at all costs.
4. Inability to tolerate intense feelings. Shutting down when things get too intense and instead turning to any number of numbing techniques so you do not have to feel.
5. Trouble asking for help. Feeling like you need to be perfect so you can never ask for help, or just afraid to get in trouble or ‘look silly’ when asking for help.
6. Dissociation. Losing time, spacing out, missing time, feeling like you are watching your life not living it.
7. Excessive sense of self-blame. Your inner dialogue is very negative always putting yourself down and being mean to yourself. You blame yourself for always being wrong and doing everything wrong.
8. Intense anxiety. You regularly feel anxious, often without even realizing it. Experiencing panic attacks, hard to breath sometimes, and like you are a crazy person.
9. Intrusive/obsessive thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, body pains. If you feel out of control and can not stop these thoughts or flashbacks, you have unhealed trauma that needs attention asap. Contact me here.
10. Strong fear of failure and/or success. Resulting in sticking you on autopilot so you feel you have not accomplished anything because change in either direction is just too frightening.
11. Difficulty concentrating. If your mind jumps around a lot and you notice yourself avoiding certain things and focusing on unhealthy things, this is a sign of unresolved trauma.
12. Planning everything. This is a form of trying to gain some control when you inside are feeling completely out of control.
13. Change is really hard. Change scares you and things seem to completely fall apart for a bit when inevitable change is happening. You feel complete, paralyzing fear in the unknown.
14. Inappropriate attachments. Your relationships are dysfunctional. You seek what has been hurting you because it is familiar.
15. Depression. Being sad and depressed for more than 2 weeks is a sign of unhealed trauma desperately needing to be helped.

If anything sounds familiar here you may have unhealed trauma that needs attention. You are not alone as trauma affects more than 75% of us and many of us, many of us, have unhealed trauma.

Please reach out – to me, to a community, to your therapist/coach. Talk to someone, help is out there when you are ready to reach for it.

Malibu Mama Loves Xx

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