7 Conscious Ways To Thrive After Divorce
Divorced? Struggling to figure it all out? Welcome to the club!!
The season after a divorce can be very stormy and overwhelming for even the best of us. It doesn’t matter if you knew it was coming or it was a complete shocker, divorce is ugly, hard and a very painful process. First, you have to adapt and accept that the marriage didn’t work out, then you have to tell family and friends and go through societies’ judgements. And then there is the rebuilding…
Whether you are in the beginning stages of the divorce process or 4 years in like myself, the good news is is that we are not alone. There are conscious ways to thrive after divorce. With a shockingly high divorce rate in this country, there are and have been a lot of people in your shoes, a lot of people will be in your shoes in the future and it is ok to feel what you are feeling right now.
Believe me, this last 4 years has been a complete roller coaster ride. From being completely cleaned out (he took everything) to having to move homes to dealing with lawyers, courts, and supervised visitation so my children could see their father to adjusting to being a single parent 4,000 miles away from the rest of her family and support system… It has been touch and go and just survive for a while now. And if you are dealing with divorce, then I bet you know exactly what I am talking about.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are things you can do to help yourself, there are simple steps you can take to thrive after divorce, not just survive. This is what has worked for me, try even just a few to get yourself started when you are ready. I’ll be honest and say it took me a long time, I’m still working on it. I found a great therapist, and you should too and I’m ok with it being a process, I accept it. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve dealt with depression, I’ve hit my bottom; but when I get back up and look at things, I realize how strong I’ve been and that I am going to be ok, WE are going to be ok.We can thrive after divorce.
So these are 7 conscious was to thrive after a divorce that really have helped me let go.
7 Conscious Ways To Thrive After Divorce
- Let yourself grieve. Mistake numero uno for me, and for many of us. I hit the ground running. When we came out of the darkness and into the light, I just got so lost. There were so many little things that all of sudden I had to deal with on my own that I never stopped to be sad for the loss of my family institution. I kept it all in. A divorce is a loss, in a big sense. You must give yourself time to be sad for your loss. They say it takes about half the time of the length of the relationship to fully let go, and it does get easier with each day. But be aware of it and be ok that you will experience some sadness.
- Be forgiving to yourself. Do not be so hard on yourself. Be understanding if you are a little more forgetful, or agitated or quicker to anger. It is ok. Take5 minutes a day at least to do something just for yourself – a bath, a walk, meditation/prayer. Pick something and treat yourself every day.
- Get to know yourself again. Just as divorce is an ending, being single is a new beginning! This is your chance to be you, all you, again. Spend some time daydreaming and set some new goals. What things would you like to get to know how to do? Explore your favorite foods. What really matters to you? What do you feel your purpose is? Having purpose will give you a true sense of who you are. This can be an exciting time, it can be your time.
- Adapt your mindset. We talk about this here all the time. And it applies to divorce too. With all the conscious ways to thrive after divorce, having the right mindset is key. You get there by letting yourself grieve, accepting the situation and turning that – in your mind – into a positive. It takes time and hard work, but you can get there. I know it!
- If you haven’t yet, get started writing a journal every day. This helps more than anything else. I like to begin each morning with 3 things I am thankful for, then how I am feeling and what I would like help with. I try to be as direct and honest with my feelings as possible.
- Turn to trusted friends. Let your support system be there for you. Even if it is just an online forum of likeminded individuals, DO NOT GO IT ALONE. I’m one of thise who self-isolates when hurting and upset so believe me when I tell you, it doesn’t work or help things at all. In fact it makes it worse. Humans are creatures of community. The majority of us need each other. So just because one relationship did not work out, it does not mean you should hide away forever now. Let your friends put that smile back on your face slowly and in your own time.
- Learn your finances. Make sure to take some time to budget and figure out your new financial situation. Do not ignore doing this until it is too late.
What are your great conscious ways to thrive after divorce?
Malibu Mama Loves Xx