Knowing How To Say No

Knowing How To Say No


Saying No is the hardest thing for me. There is the fear the person will not talk to me ever again, there is the possibility of hurting feelings, there is the option that I will miss another opportunity… so I always try to do it all.

And then I fall.


Because the fact is no one can do everything. We need to be realistic with our commitments. So I have been working on saying No… sometimes. It is important toknow when to say no and How to say no. Honestly we can not say yes all the time, this leads to burnout, stress and anxiety. It is difficult and uncomfortable to say no but it will help you be happier in the long run. Here is how.

Knowing How To Say No

  1. Don’t overthink it. This is where I go wrong often. I think about it way to long, agonizing, imagining the worst case scenario. So when asked and your first thought is no – say it! Do it quickly rather than thinking about it, stressing.
  2. Stand up straight. Body language is very important. Our state of mind influences the way we move and hold ourselves, this works both ways. Meaning, our thoughts effect our body language and our body language effects our thoughts. Assuming a confident posture will actually make you feel more confident, which helps when saying no.
  3. Be direct and kind. Don’t try to soften the blow, just be direct and honest. This way you are not leaving yourself open for the other person to try to wear you down and get you to change your mind. There is no need to make excuses, I bet that person would have no problem saying no to you if it didn’t work out for them. Just let it out, a confident, no I am just not able to do that will end the line of questioning right there!
  4. Keep it short and sweet. This is a case of less is more. You do not need to explain yourself or make excuses. You do not want to give them room to try to convince you. Be firm, be ready to repeat yourself, stay strong in your needs!
  5. Practice, role play a little. Getting comfortable just saying the word before having to face the person is very helpful. As with any situation, preparation is key and saying no is not different. Practice it, do a little role play with a trusted friend who can help you say no. As you practice, notice how easy it really is to say no!

These tips have helped me start saying no a little bit and I feel confident they will help you too! Try some and let me know how you do in the comments below. We would love to hear about your great tips on how to say no too!


Malibu Mama Loves Xx

Author: malibumamaloves

I am a conscious mama, a dv survivor, a conscious trauma informed life coach who has overcome trauma and helps others turn their pain into purpose in facing their unhealed traumas.

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