Toxic Relationships – Everything You Need To Be Conscious Of

Toxic Relationships – Everything You Need To Be Conscious Of


I learned a really interesting thing today. It was almost like an ah-ha moment…

We have been talking a lot about domestic violence and the different forms of abuse lately on Conscious Straight Talk With Katie & Lindsey. The topic of toxic people and relationships has come up a lot hence we thought it would be helpful to do an episode just on toxic relationships.

So we started researching, thinking about the experiences we have helped with, thinking about our own experiences and really discussing it more and let me tell you, BOTH of our eyes opened to a lot.

What Is A Toxic Relationship?

Many people do not really know what is a toxic relationship. It is defined as any relationship between two people who don’t support each other, where there is constant conflict and one person continually seeks to undermine the other. There is continuous disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.

There really is a lack of being a team together and one feels constantly hurt, anxious and even depressed. It’s like a roller coaster of pain.

Sounds a lot like a domestic violence relationship, doesn’t?! But there is a difference… a BIG one.

What Is The Difference Between A Toxic Relationship & Domestic Violence?

One word – Intent. Intent is the difference between the two. In domestic violence cases there is the intent to harm, to control, to manipulate, to hurt. But in toxic relationship cases, there is no intent to harm or cause the damage that they do.

In fact, in toxic relationships, with toxic people, often times there is an underlying reason for this persons behavior. Usually, they do not even realize how toxic and how harmful they are to those around them. They don’t get it because they have so much pain on the inside it just seeps out subconsciously to those around them.

They may not have had a supportive childhood or healthy role models, they may have been horribly bullied, they may have a personality disorder, like NPD, they for sure have serious unhealed trauma wounds, typically inner child work needs attention, and they are not even aware of how toxic they are.

Red Flags To Look For In A Toxic Relationship

Relationships can be super confusing and with all the stigma’s that society places on us, many can fall real quick down a rabbit hole of pain if they don’t pay attention to red flags.

They can look like:

  • A lack of support for you – meaning the crush every idea and make you feel badly about your work.
  • Toxic Communication
  • Envy or jealousy
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Resentment – on both sides which leads to escalated toxic behaviors
  • Dishonesty – so many lies…
  • Patterns of disrespect and they encourage their family members, friends and acquaintances to lie to you and disrespect you
  • Negative financial behaviors
  • Constant stress and anxiety
  • Deep insecurities
  • Ignoring or belittling your needs
  • Lost friendships and family members – they are either tired of hearing it or you have pushed them away from manipulation from the toxic person
  • Stop caring about yourself and taking care of yourself
  • Always be hoping for change
  • Walking on eggshells
  • They become angry with you for being hurt by their disrespectful behavior

These are just a few of the red flags to look for, but are some of the biggest. The sad thing is many toxic people do not even realize they are hurting us this way.

Is It Possible To Heal A Toxic Relationship?

Absolutely. But only if both people want it and are willing to do the work. The first step is in acknowledging and understanding the behavior and patterns that have been going on. Here are some tips to help:

  • Acknowledge and apologize. Acknowledging, understanding and a lot of apologizing starts this process.
  • Both parties need to have a willingness to invest in making the relationship work. They need to invest time, money and their hearts.
  • Both parties need to make the shift from blaming to understanding.
  • Ideally, both parties need to be open to outside counseling and guidance to help each other heal and grow.

A healthy relationship is always possible with understanding and compassion. Let us know what you think in the comments!

Malibu Mama Loves Xx




Author: malibumamaloves

I am a conscious mama, a dv survivor, a conscious trauma informed life coach who has overcome trauma and helps others turn their pain into purpose in facing their unhealed traumas.

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