5 Things to Say to Your Kids Everyday
Every new day presents us with an opportunity to help our children grow.
We nurture them, we guide them, we make sure they have everything they need, but do we remember to actually talk to them?
Beyond the obligatory I love you with eye contact that is…
I try to. I do my best to choose words that not only tell my kids I love them, but words that will enable them to be the best people they can be.
And is not always easy to do. But it is possible!!
Here are 5 things I say to my kids everyday (ok, sometimes weekly) that shows them I love them while empowering them.
1. Good morning my love, I missed you last night! I have said this every morning to both of my children since the first time (not quite sure if it was morning or not!!) we woke up in the hospital together!!! Even when they come in bright and early and wake me up. Even when they have had me up all night. Even when I am really mad at them for something. Here is why:
- It lets them know that I was thinking of them, that they are important to me.
- By knowing they are important to me, they become important to themselves thus building that precious self-confidence.
- It sets a positive tone for the morning. Knowing someone is happy to see you always makes you feel good – as does being happy to see someone
2. I believe in you, trust yourself. This I say daily and at every opportunity. I say it when dropping them off at school. I say it when they are nervous or trying something for the first time. I say it when they tell me they can’t. Here is why:
- It lets them know that I believe in them, that I am confident in their abilities.
- By knowing that I believe they can, they will start to believe they can and then they will DO!
- They are learning to share this love. I noticed the other day at the beach my daughter talking to another child who wanted to try her surf board but was a little nervous. All of a sudden my daughter says ‘I believe in you, trust yourself and try it’ and I thought my heart was going to burst with pride and joy. My daughter had the confidence to talk to a strange child and encourage this child to try something new – can you see me smile from there?!!
3. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. I may not say this every day, but my kids hear it a few times a week. They hear it when they get frustrated and want to just quit… anything. I take a deep breathe – because if they are frustrated I am probably pretty close to popping myself – and I remind them to stay calm, breathe and give it another go, perhaps with a new strategy. Here is why:
- By taking a deep breathe (which truly does help calm one down – science has proven it as have many many people) and then talking to them calmly, it can diffuse the frustration and give them a chance to rethink their tactics to try again.
They learn not to freak out and give up. Instead, they stay calm, take a breathe and try a new strategy.
4. Its ok to make mistakes. They hear this a lot in my house. Whether I am reassuring them or apologizing for one of mine – mistakes are common in my household and sometimes can be good. Together we will try to find the lesson to be learned from making the mistake – because that is the secret about mistakes that they forgot to tell us in school. Mistakes are actually good, as long as we learn from them.
5. You are safe and loved. I say this every night at the end of our snuggle time before they drift off to sleep. Here is why:
- I want their last thought of the day to be that they are safe and loved.
- This gives them the safe feeling which will allow them to be who they want to be. It gives them the security and the confidence to go out into the world to do what they need to do and be who they want to be, knowing that they have a safe place to return to. This small statement offers a powerful boost to their self-confidence.
- So when they think back to their childhood, they remember how safe, warm and loved they are.
What things do you say to your children every day?
Malibu Mama Loves Xx